If there’s one way I love filling my belly, it’s going out to eat. But going out to eat can be an unpleasant experience if the place you go to doesn’t keep up with everything involved with running a decent restaurant. There are five things that really annoy me more than anything else, though.

Going out to eat is as much of a reward as it is an enjoyable experience. Well, usually. Sometimes you go to a restaurant out of not wanting to cook. Other occasions you may go to eat different kinds of food, or you might even be in a hurry or out meeting someone for a date, or a family outing. Whatever the case may be, when you get there, if you’re anything like me, you expect things to be a certain way. There are numerous things that could annoy you about eating at a restaurant, but this is a list of my top five.

5) Lack of credit card readers.

Coming in at number five is something that happened quite recently. Credit card readers. OK, this one may not be extremely common, but it happens. Recently I decided to go to a new restaurant and try them out. Well, I got there, saw what looked like a lot of good food, but as it would be, the person behind the counter didn’t seem to know anything about a card reader, so they had someone come help them, it was then I found out they didn’t have one.

OK, what the fucking hell. I’m sorry, this is 2017. If you don’t have one in some form, whether dial-up, broadband, mobile phone slide, or any other easily attainable option, then you shouldn’t be in business. Not everyone can or will carry cash on them. You lost me as a customer, I will never come back. I’m sure I’m not the only person that took a paid taxi to get there and then had to walk 8 blocks in the blazing hot sun to another restaurant to eat because the other place had a card reader.

4) Misbehaved children, and the parents that don’t care.

Another thing that doesn’t happen all the time but can ruin your entire meal is annoying people and their retarded children that have not been taught to behave. OK, sure, it’s actually the parents’ fault, but seriously, this can be one of the worst things to happen.

The child gets told he can’t have dessert, throws a fit, and instead of the parent taking the child outside and handling it, they yell at them or smack them, and then the child cries. No, you can’t carry on a conversation, and no, you can’t enjoy your date, all you can do is grit your teeth and bear with the situation. Because, at this

No, you can’t carry on a conversation, and no, you can’t enjoy your date, all you can do is grit your teeth and bear with the situation. Because, at this point the parent is being just as much, if not more discourteous than their child that they refuse to separate from everyone. Before you take your child to go eat at a restaurant, teach them how to behave and eat at home. If this happens, take them outside; stop making the rest of us suffer because your parenting skills are subpar.


3) Food served slow.

This happens quite often when I go out to eat. We had a Denny’s here in town, and sometimes we liked to eat there; personally, wasn’t my favorite place. Prices could be a bit ridiculous, and then we usually went when it’s off peak hours like mid-afternoon or late at night. Usually, at those times you saw very few people there, and what looked to be a reasonably staffed restaurant.

So you sit down, you place your order, and 10 minutes pass. You’re hungry and can’t wait to eat. Of course, they prepare their food “fresh”, so you expect about a 15-minute wait. At about 20 minutes, you start getting a bit put off. 25 minutes pass, and now you’re annoyed. But as 30 minutes come and go, you get outright pissed off at the place’s incompetence.

Now understand, there are maybe 7 people eating at the restaurant, but the kitchen took 45 minutes to make an order that should have taken 15 minutes (20-25 minutes if they were busy). OK, well, that was fucked up. No, it’s ok don’t give me a discount for forcing us to wait to eat food that was, let’s be honest, mediocre at best. Pathetic.

2) Plastic bacon. Horrible Steak.

Then, you get your food, right? And that bacon you ordered with your pancakes taste like plastic that was trimmed off the side of a condiment container they emptied out a week ago. OK, maybe it’s not that bad, but still, it’s not real bacon. I mean, I can see through the damn slice of bacon!

OK, the next trip I order a steak; I feel I can splurge now and then. So after waiting for my food, impatiently I might add, I get my steak, cut into what is supposed to be medium rare, but wait, why is this hard like a rock? It’s dry, and they want me to pay 15 bucks to choke myself on their horrible food. Yeah, fuck that, I called over the owner and argued my point, and was told if I didn’t pay, I should leave. I was like, really? That was an option? Cyas!

1) Incompetent wait staff.

But honestly, the top thing that really, really annoys me? Horribly incompetent wait staff. You know the gum-chewing ones that forget to bring you something to drink? What about the one that forgets you exist and fails to bring you refills?

I love when I get one that when asked what a particular dish contains, they shoot me a blank stare like I’m the stupid one. Seriously, if you’re not new, you have no excuse. I have had great ones where I’ve wanted to leave a $50 tip. I’ve also had ones where I left nothing and actually wanted them to pay ME for “serving” me. As if they would ever do that anyway.

Sometimes I think horrible wait staff should have to tip the people they don’t treat right. It’s a service business, act like it or find a new field of work. You would think tips would motivate them. Most places pay them below minimum wage because their primary income ends up being tips usually, but sometimes I question if they aren’t just there to piss you off or annoy you.

I’m sure there are many more things that piss you guys off. If you have something, please, feel free to leave it in the comments. These are my top five. What are yours?