I’m planning this to be an ongoing thing I am going to do. I have a massive 30-year wrestling archive, and I am working my way through watching all of it. It’s going to be a long process, and I hope, for the most part enjoyable. I figure for some of the more significant events at the very least I will write about my thoughts on the matches and the events as a whole. I’m hoping you all will enjoy my perspective and I would love to hear your own thoughts on these events.
Without further ado, I bring you my thoughts on WrestleMania VIThe show starts without much fanfare and seems to get right into it. But seeing they have 14 matches to do in under 3 hours? Yeah, let that sink in as you read this. You’ll understand my thoughts on the event once that’s been put into perspective. Seeing the main event was ~30 minutes long, and they had about 2 and a half hours of programming that leaves less than 10 minutes per match. Now, longer matches don’t always mean better but this, this was an abomination. I dare you to read more. I double dare you to watch it without losing even a bit of your sanity.
“The Model” Rick Martel vs. Koko B. Ware was just quick nothing match. Crappy and nothing special. Signs of what’s to come?
Promo with Demolition was ok, nothing that great. While it could have been better, it did its job in setting the match.
Demolition vs. The Colossal Connection tag team championship match was a decent squash match. But it left me waiting for a good match. The events that took place following the match was good. André the Giant flipping on Bobby Heenan and Haku was good solid entertainment, better than the match. The match, however, left a lot to be desired.
Earthquake promo was pretty meh.
The match between Earthquake and Hercules seemed to be one of the better matches at this point in the PPV. It pitted raw strength against raw size. Even while bleeding Earthquake still won the match but as expected it was a little short. Power for power was the whole match.
Interview with Miss Elizabeth. Short promo where she says she might return to ringside. Left me a bit intrigued.
Mr. Perfect vs. Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake match I thought would be good. So many elements, hatred for one another and both wrestlers are really solid. Match had a good fiery start, looked promising. Here we go, faster-paced power match. The Genius dropping his “scroll” in the ring and used by Mr. Perfect was in a word, genius. LOL. The match even had some drama and taunting, nice touch. Oh here we go, they ended the match prematurely and kinda killed the mood. This match could have been and should have been better. After match trashing of The Genius was just playing to the crowd. Snore. So excessive and not even remotely entertaining. Time doing this crap would have been better spent on a longer match. This time Mr. Perfect never came to help The Genius like he did at the Royal Rumble. Curious to see what, if anything, that means.
At this point I noticed they seem to have overbooked the PPV and are rushing the matches. So very shameful. So many of these matches could have been better if given more time and attention.
Roddy Piper vs. Bad News Brown should be good, but I wasn’t holding my breath seeing how the others had been handled thus far. The match started very aggressively. Early on it seemed like it would be a good solid match. The style of the match quickly became more of a brawl. The double count out ending was just garbage. The match could have been one of the best on the card. On a side note, the half black face thing Piper had going on would totally not be acceptable if done these days. People would be entirely too politically correct for it.
This PPV seems to have been about how badly the WWF could screw the event up. Total mess and only getting worse. Sigh.
Piano promo with The Bolsheviks singing was hilarious. And the best part? It was done in the bathroom! In retrospect this might have been the best part of the entire PPV, that’s uh, rather sad. Promo was short, but it was good. LOL!
The Hart Foundation vs. The Bolsheviks was next. It was another match with a hell of a lot of potential. Let’s see how they messed this one up. Didn’t have to wait long. The Bolsheviks were singing the Russian national anthem before the bell and were attacked from behind, and it was over. Fucking shame. This match was another that could have been spectacular if given the chance to shine.
Tito Santana vs. The Barbarian in singles competition I was not expecting much. Tito was a good wrestler, but this match had no real build up and is just another match they threw together. Very early pin expected it to end. At this point, I had very little faith left in the PPV. I guess I cannot say I was disappointed it was a crappy squash match that was entirely too high on the card. It was even more shameful to squash Tito like that. He deserved better. Pitiful.
All matches before now were in the first hour of the PPV. Yeah, the revised timing was less than 9 minutes average match time. Really shameful. Not sure what they were thinking. More matches do not make a better event. This is especially true when they have to cram so many of them into such a tight timeframe.
Dusty Rhodes promo with Sapphire was just gross. Slow, boring, and pointless. Sapphire is a joke. Worst manager of 1990. I like Rhodes but this crap they had him doing? And their polka dots? WTF were they thinking?!? Ew. That said, on a related note I really don’t like Sherri either, but at least she did a good job.
Dusty Rhodes vs. Macho Man Randy Savage mixed tag, supposedly the first ever? Either way, I was expecting garbage. Should have kept the women out of it. Guess who just showed up? Miss fucking Elizabeth! This should have made the match interesting. OMG. What a pop she got from the crowd. The men in the match did most if not all the “heavy” lifting of carrying the match. Sapphire just kept falling on her butt and on Sherri. Ugh. Sigh. Sapphire pining Sherri was crap! Sherri’s shoulders were not even down. Horrible match. Was expecting more from Elizabeth being ringside. Wasted potential.
By this point, I was still hoping the matches would get better It had been a huge disappointment thus far. My hopes and dreams were about to plummet further into a nightmare little did I know.
Hogan did a promo at this point in the PPV. Meh, same old crap. Never did like his promos when he was doing them like this. He was so single-minded and simplistic in his delivery. Most of the time he said the same things with minimal deviation. Still, not as bad as Cena! Yeah, I went there.The Ultimate Warrior also had a promo. This was a much more vicious and impactful promo. Sadly, I’ve never been impressed with The Ultimate Warrior’s in-ring performance. Still, not the best promo and didn’t sell the match that well.
The Rockers vs. The Orient Express match. By now I was not expecting much nor did I care much about this particular match. Sigh. This match was nothing but cheap shot galore. The Rockers were solid early on. But of course! Another good match ruined by count out. This PPV has been utter bullshit. They had a good match going on and then bam! It was over without a proper decision. Fuckers.
Dino Bravo vs. “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan was next! This match was WAY too high on the card. With that said I was expecting, or well hoping for a decent match barring they didn’t ruin it yet again. Sigh. This match honestly did not make much sense and was just another “me too” match. Crappy, and pointless.
It’s kinda sad when my wife ended up sleeping through most of this PPV. Yep, it has sucked that badly.
Jake “The Snake” Roberts promo was decent. I mean it was nothing special, same old stuff but had a sort of emotional connection to it. Hard to explain. Minor though in overall impact.
Ted DiBiase vs. Jake “The Snake” Roberts I was expecting a great classic match. There was a lot on the line, and it had a good emotional feeling to it. Their feud and build was good leading up to WrestleMania. But, I just couldn’t shake the feeling they were going to ruin it somehow. Match started off hot. No time wasted. Was I getting my hopes up again? Brutal match. Decent but they still cut the match short. While it could have been better, on this PPV, it was the best match thus far. The action after the match just left me wondering why they cut it short. It proved it could have been a much better match if they had only given it the time and push it deserved. Sigh. Jake handed out some of DiBiase’s money to the crowd after the match so some got a refund for this horrible event. How about everyone else that had to watch this trainwreck of a PPV?
Big Boss Man promo time! I loved it. I love his character and attitude. Good drama and build.
Big Boss Man vs. Akeem match. I wasn’t sure about this one. Both were capable wrestlers, but I think Akeem’s character held him back. DiBiase jumped Big Boss Man before the match. Oh boy. I wasn’t expecting much from the match at this point. Sigh. Yep, I called it. All it ended up being was a quick comeback match to make Big Boss Man look even better. Nothing got settled in this pointless feud. Ah well.
The Honky Tonk Man and Greg “The Hammer” Valentine perform a song at this point. Please, no. So much was wrong with this. They did have a nice car and entrance though. The song was utter trash. Facepalm. Someone, anyone, please kill it with fire. And those poor guitars! The Bushwhackers smashed them. The song was horrible, but it wasn’t the guitars fault.They announced they had record-setting attendance. Odd, seeing as this WrestleMania was a complete piece of garbage. The people in attendance and those who paid to see the PPV must have really felt ripped off. I know if I had paid to see this pile of shit I would have been. Surprised they weren’t booed out of Canada. Fucking miserable, loathsome dogshit.
Ravishing Rick Rude vs. Jimmy “Superfly” Snuka was just another “me too” match. Both were capable wrestlers don’t get me wrong. It’s just the match was nonsensical for this grand of a PPV stage and should never have been this high on the card. I was expecting a shitty match. So many gyrating hips. And, as I feared before, they did place this match way too high on the card. It was a very short match. Snore. There are several matches on this PPV that should never have been booked. This is one of those matches.MAIN EVENT TIME! Please let this match at least partially redeem this monstrosity of a PPV. Sadly, I’m not sure anything could save this PPV at this point. I know some PPVs get away with only a few good matches but seeing how this one has been an enormous trainwreck I’m not sure at this point if even one off the chart match could make the PPV worth it. I was just about to find out.
Huge pop from the crowd as soon as The Ultimate Warrior’s entrance music hit. Warrior ran to the ring in classic Ultimate Warrior fashion. And Hogan walked to the ring. All previous matches the wrestlers rode to the ring by cart. The crowd seemed to be very excited for the match. I was hoping for the best. High stakes champion versus champion, belt against belt. This should be a monumental match, and the stuff legends are born from.
The match started slow. Seemed to be very much a power contest. Both Hogan and Warrior are larger than life characters. They both could have sold the moves a bit better on the tests of strength. Pacing strangled the match. This match needed much faster pacing and a lot more action. The miserably slow pace continued all the way through the match.
The commentators tried so hard sell excitement to the crowd at home, but it’s just not that great of a match. No matter how hard they tried to sell it, it was just a clusterfuck of boredom. Warrior did a clothesline on Hogan but Hogan sold the move too soon before contact was made. Sloppy. This match was just not that good. Warrior was known for his fast pace. But sadly he’s been in what seems like slow motion just not a good showing at all. The referee went down. I just knew a cliché was coming. Yep, Hogan with the pin and no referee to count it. Yay. Warrior with the pin and again, no referee. Even more yay! The referee comes back counts to 2, and Hogan pops up. Funny enough the match ended how I expected. I’m sure a rematch will be had later. Honestly though? I don’t care to see another boring outing between these twoThis was a very crappy PPV. I don’t know how they thought this PPV would be a good idea. The person in charge of booking dropped the ball in a HORRIBLE way. The matches were overbooked, and none had the chance to shine, the main event, while it sounded good on paper in terms of star power, was absolutely terrible in practice. I know Hogan needed to drop the title but dropping it to Warrior was a very stupid idea. Warrior was just not impressive no matter how many times I’ve seen him in the ring. He was over pushed and was a mid-card talent at best. During this time I know the WWF was looking for a Hogan replacement because that well was running a bit dry, but clearly, Warrior was not a good choice as he didn’t last long. This WrestleMania proves the old adage “Quality over quantity” absolutely correct. Fewer matches, with more push, and this could have been one hell of an event.